Happy Father’s Day to everyone! What is going through your mind on this day? It strikes me that today is a good day for surprises. Surprises come in many different types of packages and the more thoughtful the package the better it is.
Maybe today will be a surprise visit to a Dad with a package filled with memories. Those moments that will not disappear or even be tarnished by the reality that Dads are not perfect. Those memories are part of the structure of who we are; how Dad influenced and shaped our lives. Interestingly enough, even though the parent passed away, he continues to influence our lives. Those memories need to be unpacked, shared and celebrated.
All the while, it is important to note that we have more than biological parents, there are men who entered our lives, often in unassuming ways and gave us the parenting we needed. Those men are also worthy of being called a Father; a Dad.
There is more than enough reason for anyone of us to thank Dad’s. And, more than enough reason for us to consider passing it forward. It has become almost an axiom of social science to point out that the best way to increase dysfunction is to increase fatherlessness. In the United States, for two generations now, almost one in four children grows up without a father in the home. No need to explore this too much, prisons, gangs, mental health institutions, and all the shadows they represent are the river of tears of the fatherless.
This is an important and complex issue. We can point in the direction of the fast movement of a society that is fueled by Immediate gratification and placed in jeopardy by each downturn in the economy. A society that in the very speed of the digital age displaces a Dad as a mentor, and replaces him by virtual realities. We might also point at the empty places in the church pews, where a young person sits no longer.
It is not about finding who or what to blame. Without excluding all the things that we need to support, the dreams and vocations of the young, the willing grandfathers who provide so much parenting, the example of being good husbands, the celebration of a 50th wedding anniversary. There is something specific that we need to do. In order to find a path forward we need to spend more time with Abba. This is one revelation of Christ that needs to be heeded. God is first and foremost, Abba. Before God, no one will ever be an orphan, no one will ever be fatherless.
As Nouwen pointed out many years ago as he reflected on the story of the prodigal son, our identity may take us along the path of the younger son, then the older brother, but our true vocation is to become the Father. As Abba is for us, we need to be for others. No one should be an orphan, no one should be fatherless.
Father Francisco Gomez, S.T.